Rhyming Couplets

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A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not


I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

They say it hurts to love, my dear,
They say it pains to part.
They say it leads to many tears,
They say it tears your heart.

They say it hurts you, my dear,
As it hurts me in this song.
But deep inside, I fear, I fear,
I fear they might be wrong.

***

I am no patient angel dear,
Just a fairy on the side;
Oh we have no secrets here,
On the well stained bedside.

You know me outside in my dear
You know me in my fire,
but now get the fuck out of here
You’re not what I desire.

***

If we were miles apart my love,
I’d send my heart to you;
Perched on a thousand purple doves,
I’d send some kisses too.

But as I have you thrust in me,
Naked in our sin.
I ponder rather vacantly
If the doctor’s in.

***

Take a kiss, my gallant love
And pin it to your heart;
And underneath in glowing words
Write: ‘Till death do us part’.

Take a kiss, my gallant love
And hang it on your breast;
And while we are about it,
Do something about your breath.