There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he , she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket,the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, “Girl, I know you weren’t fool enough to put all thatmoney in there with your husband.” The loyal wife replied “Listen, ’I’m a Christian, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him !!!?”
I sure did” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.”

:))

Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".


Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"Ed.


Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo? "


Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.


Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do " phools" fall in love?


Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I`m a "mota"car.


Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't "unda"-stand.


Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: "Jhinga" Bells.


Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was "puri".


Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"


Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.


Q: What do you call an almost bald poet?
A: I-bal.


Dis ij DA funkiest...
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"


THANKS :))

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was
suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need
every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

THANKS........

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track."

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

"I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that had been vandalized?"

"Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo."

This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?"

"Because he's never seen a train crash!"

Thanks..........

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...
__
/ \
\__/

O

and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to
the 2nd boy) "Well, your honor I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"
"Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles)

O

__
/ \
\__/

"I said, (pointing to the small circle) this is your asshole before prison......"

MUNNABHAI MBBS DICTIONARY

1) Antibody - Against everyone

2) Artery - The study of fine paintings

3) Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria

4) Bowel - Letters like a,e,I,o,u

5) Caesarian Section - A district in Rome

6) Cardiology - Advanced study of Poker playing

7) Cat Scan - Searching for lost kitty

8) Coma - Punctuation mark Yaar, Simple!

9) Cyst - A short for sister

10) Diagnosis - Person with slanted nose

11) Dilate - The late British Princess Diana

12) Enema - Not a friend

13) False Labor - Pretending to work

14) Genes - Blue denim

15) Hernia - She is close by

16) Hymen - Greeting to several males

17) Impotent - distinguished / well-known

18) Labor Pain - Hurt at work

19) Menopause - Men no wait

20) Microbes - Small dressing gowns

21) Obesity - City of Obe

22) Pacemaker - Winner of Nobel Peace Prize

23) Protein - in favor of teens

24) Pulse – Grain

25) Pus - Small cat

26) Red Blood Count – Dracula

27) Secretion – Hiding anything

28) Tablet - Small table

29) Urine - Opposite of you are out

30) Varicose - Very close

HAVE FUN :))