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Rhyming Couplets
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A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
They say it hurts to love, my dear,
They say it pains to part.
They say it leads to many tears,
They say it tears your heart.
They say it hurts you, my dear,
As it hurts me in this song.
But deep inside, I fear, I fear,
I fear they might be wrong.
***
I am no patient angel dear,
Just a fairy on the side;
Oh we have no secrets here,
On the well stained bedside.
You know me outside in my dear
You know me in my fire,
but now get the fuck out of here
You’re not what I desire.
***
If we were miles apart my love,
I’d send my heart to you;
Perched on a thousand purple doves,
I’d send some kisses too.
But as I have you thrust in me,
Naked in our sin.
I ponder rather vacantly
If the doctor’s in.
***
Take a kiss, my gallant love
And pin it to your heart;
And underneath in glowing words
Write: ‘Till death do us part’.
Take a kiss, my gallant love
And hang it on your breast;
And while we are about it,
Do something about your breath.
* To fall in love.
* To laugh until your stomach hurts.
* To find mails by the thousands when you return from
a vacation.
* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
* To listen to your favorite song in the radio.
* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.
* To leave the shower and find that the towel is
warm.
* To clear your last exam.
* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a
lot, but you want
to.
* To find money in the pocket of a dress that you
haven't used since
last
year .
* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making
faces.
* Calls at midnight that last for hours.
* To laugh without a reason.
* To accidentally hear somebody say something good
about you.
* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep
for a couple of
hours.
* To hear a song that makes you remember a special
person.
* To be part of a team.
* To watch the sunset from the hill top.
* To make new friends.
* To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that
you see that
person.
* To pass time with your best friends.
* To see people that you like, feeling happy.
* To use a sweater of the person that you like and
find that it still
smells of their perfume.
* See an old friend again and to feel that the things
have not
changed.
* To take an evening walk along the beach.
* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
* To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ......
remembering stupid
things
done with stupid friends.
These are the best moments of life....
Let us learn to cherish them.......
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of
Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it:
"Everything"
and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the
other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same
offence
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those 3 women never
meet each other!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband
is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've
found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me,
sympathy?"
b.. You woke me up for that?
c.. Did I mention the video camera?
d.. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
e.. Can you please pass me the remote control?
f.. Do you accept Visa?
g.. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
h.. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
i.. Do you get any premium movie channels?
j.. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
k.. But I just brushed my teeth...
l.. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
m.. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
n.. Did I remember to take my pill?
o.. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
p.. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
q.. You're almost as good as my ex!
r.. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
s.. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
t.. I have a confession...
u.. You can cook, too right?
v.. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
w.. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.

Following traits in common in all of the people :
#
They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too! They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.
#
They are incredibly curious and eager to learn. They study, ask questions and read—constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it's about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!
# They network. They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbors, co- workers and bartenders. They don't have to be "the life of the party," in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a Rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.
# They work on themselves and never quit! While the "over-night wonders" become arrogant and quickly disappear, really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don't tolerate flaws; they fix them!
# They are extraordinarily creative. They go around asking, "Why not?" They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, "I've got it!" They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!
# They are self-reliant and take responsibility. Incredibly successful people don't worry about blame, and they don't waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on.…Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.
# They are usually relaxed and keep their perspective. Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance, they know the value of timing, humor, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breath easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.
# Extremely successful people live in the present moment. They know that "Now" is the only time they can control. They have a "gift" for looking people in the eye, listening to what is being said, enjoying a meal or fine wine, music or playing with a child. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don't waste time, they use it!
# They "look over the horizon" to see the future. They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbor kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future!
Repeatedly successful people respond instantly! When an investment isn't working out, they sell. When they see an opportunity, they make the call. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond.